The turn of events. Part 1: MAGIC!!

I had this dream two nights ago..it wasnt exactly like this but i modified it and made it cool. maybe senseless but read it for humor's sake :P
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Sirius Black actually died when Harry Potter was in his 4th year at Hogwarts. The reason for his death is unknown: for the daily prophet suspects a great black dog behind it

Harry Potter was in his fifth year at Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry, completing the long tiring essay concerning some imaginary thing which only J.K Rowling is capable to come up with. As he was completing his essay, his eyelids grew heavy and he fell asleep in the dormitory whilst Lord Voldemort was in Malfoy Manor admiring the beauty of Bellatrix Lestrange as she slowly crawled to his legs like a menacing tigress, stripteasing and seductively removing her something something as she knelt on her knees shaking her hips slowly like Shakira.
''My lord, I want to spend this wonderful night with you,'' said Bellatrix making a puppy face,''Please cancel tonight's plan.''

''Nah, babes. Can't.'' said Voldemort.''Been planning to steal that prophecy from a long time. Yes, You have to go to the Department of Mysteries.''

''But my lo-''
'No,'' interrupted Voldemort,'' You will have to go and I am not coming. I've got more important work to do, like, aah scratch my balls.''
Thus, giving a vulgar statement, Voldemort got up and while he was making his way to the bathroom, he slipped and fell with a thud on the floor and sweared-'' Fuckin' used condom.''
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Back in the muggle world were playing on their computers a group of friends: Shriram, Rahul, Nikhil, Hiral, Aakanksha; a violent game called ''Counter Strike'' as they were in the counter terrorist clan and Nikhil was supposed to defuse the bomb but got killed by a female terrorist.

''Haha!'' laughed the girl from the terrorist clan and mocked,''The bomb was right infront of you but you came near me and got yourself killed.''

''Happens, honey. I confused the bomb with you. After all, you are one sexy bomb.'' flirted Nikhil.
The terrorist girl went offline.
''Concentrate, da. Yenna rascala! I, rajnikanth, in counter strike' aa!! Our clan impossible to lose, no?'' said Shriram.
And the clan members were squabbling among themselves and a very strange even took place that night. The group got pulled into the game and the de_dust map surroundings changed itself to a place which no cs player had seen in his/her useless life.

''This place is familiar.'' said Hiral looking at Rahul.

''Guys, we still have our weapons.'' said Rahul.

''Woah'' said Shriram, suprised that he was holding an ak 47 in his hand.

''I am hungry'' complained Nikhil.

''Nikhil, shut the fuck up and look around. Boy, this place is familiar.'' said Hiral.

''Yeah.. Looks like Department of mysteries from Harry Potter and order of Phoenix.'' said Nikhil.

''Shut up! Don't spoil the fun!'' screamed Aakanksha throwing a tantrum.
Everybody gave her a hard stare.

"Err I haven't read the fifth book'' blushed Aakanksha.

To be continued.